And when you're fifteen feelin' like there's nothin' to figure out..

Wow, what a CRAZY day. A lot really didn't happen today, but it was still a crazy day. I don't exactly have a topic to blog on, but at the same time, I do..
I kinda want to talk about the subject of homecoming.
You see, I'm a sophmore this year and last year I didn't go to homecoming.. ( Not that I really cared.)
I wasn't going this year, but people kinda talked me into it.. So, I'm going.
I'm not quite decided on if I'm actually excited to go.. I kinda feel extremely uncomfortable with the whole idea.. But I don't know, I may just be insane.
All this is just crazy. I don't see the whole point in it, but I'll suck up my feelings and go for the people who want me to go.
Well, I'll shut up for now.
Love y'all,
~Sarah Hope

PS: Jack wanted me to mention him in this blog.. So, here ya go Jack. I mentioned you.

... And I'm afraid I won't get out alive, no. I won't sleep tongith.

The truth is, people view me not in a way I want to be viewed. 
I'm viewed as someone who isn't smart... Why? For many reasons. One being that people think I'm so in love with myself that I simply can't be smart. But those things are both wrong.. I may not be the smartest person out there, but I do have intelligence. I'm doing good in school, and I try my best! 
The other thing wrong with that is the fact that I am not in love with myself. I actually have a VERY low self-esteem. 
Personally, I think one reason people think I'm in love with myself is because I have so many shoes and I try to look nice everywhere I go. Trust me, just because I have tons of shoes doesn't mean I am in love with myself.. I just like shoes. Really, here's the truth.. One reason I love shoes more than clothes is because when I put a pair of shoes on, I don't feel uncomfortable the way I do when I try on clothes. 
When I try to find clothes, its hard to find things that fit... But when I put a pair of shoes on, they always fit... It just makes me feel comfortable. That may no make sense to you, but oh well..  Haha. 
You know what else? A lot of people think I'm very sure of myself.. Well, once again, here's the truth.. Sure, at church and around people I go to church with, I may be very talkative. But really, that's only because I feel extremely comfortable with y'all... I mean, I've grown up around each and every one of y'all. 
I must say, this blog was just a ton of thoughts thrown together. It didn't have a huge point to it, other than to simply share my feelings on things. 
So if you're reading this, thanks for reading my unorganized thoughts.. 
Also, if you're reading this, I apologize. Haha. 
I love y'all, 
~Sarah Hope

Amazing love, how can it be, that you my king would die for ME!

Everyday, I'm faced with the simple struggle about what to write about.. But today, in second period, I made up my mind on what I want to write about... 
I'm going to say this now. So, don't get mad at me for not saying anything about it. 
This blog is going to get straight to the point, it won't be long! 
I was simply reading this book called "Crazy Love" when I read this quote, " The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want him most of the time."
When I read this I thought "oh my goodness.. This is SO true." 
Really, this is one of the most true things I've read in a long time.. 
Every single day, we need God and we have an opportunity to get closer to Him and spend some time with him, but we refuse the time to do other things that we think are 'more important.' 
But you know what... Even thought God is a perfect being and He doesn't need ANYTHING to make Him happy, he created US to give Him praise.. He wants everybody to have a loving, personal relationship with us because He loves us! He loved us SO much that he gave his own SON. How many people would give their ONLY son to die for the sins of EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE WORLD? Not a one. God is the most unselfish thing there is and he gives us EVERTHING we need, yet all of us refuse Him... All the time. We don't see the importance in having a relationship with Him and we never want to spend time with Him.. 
Does anybody see anything wrong with this picture? 
I sure do. When I die, I don't want God to say "Sarah, why did you not spend five minutes with me a day? Why did you text your friends instead of talking to me? Sarah, I was always here for you and you turned to humans for advice." I don't want that to be asked to me, I don't want that to be said to me.  
I love God and I want to have a relationship with him, but I don't always choose the best way to show that. 
So here's a goal for myself.. 
I'm going to wake up ten minutes earlier every morning to spend time with my creator. 
With this goal, I depart. 
~Sarah Hope

Try to remember when life was so tender. That no one wept except the willow.

I'm starting this blog of by saying this: I have had a migraine for the past two days... and really, being on the computer isn't helping.. BUT I need to write this blog. So, here it goes.. 

I've really been thinking of what to write about all day.. (while I've been sleeping? haha. I guess that works!) And really, I've decided to write about something that I ALWAYS think about. 

Have any of you ever been hit with a huggggeeee wave of nostalgia? Because I know for a fact, I have.. I always think about the past and how BAD I wish I could just live in the past. Of course, that is never going to happen, and I've come to terms with it. Actually, let me TOTALLY rephrase all of that. I don't wanna live in the past.. I just want to be able to always remember the past. And so far, that's working for me.  

Although, I miss everything that did go on in the past... 

Every time I think of my childhood, these are the things I miss and remember... 

When Aria and me played doctor, or college, or when we use to pretend like we were shopping when we went to the grocery store, and then on the way home we would pick out the cars we wanted and the house we wanted, along with all the kids we would have... 

 When Aria and me would get those sour spray candies from the store and we would pretend they were medicine. 

I miss the times when I use to look at Matthew and think "why is he sooo cute?" 

When I would play outside ALL day long because I had nothing to worry about, except having fun. 

When daddy, Aria, and me would play orphanage. 

The  times when all Aria and me wanted to do was ride our bikes. 

The times when school was super easy for me. 

The times Courtney and me played like we were in an airplane. 

The times when Aria and me would play barbies all day, or pollypockets, and brats. 

The times when my mom and me would stay up til' 5 in the morning watching tv and eating HUGE bowls of icecream. 

When I did get grounded, I would get grounded from going outside. 

How Aria and me pretended the poles on our bunkbeds were our boyfriends. 

When Courtney and me would always lock Aria out of my room so just the two of us could play. 

I even think about the time when Aria kicked me and then bit herself and told on ME for biting her. 

When Aria and me would play like we were teachers and we would scribble on paper thinking we could write in cursive. 

How I use to know every word to every song that came on 95.5 the beat. 

When I was an only child and I got all my mom's attention. 

The times when Courtney and me would make up cheers and dances. 

When I use to be so excited to go to Grammy and Papa's house. 

How I was always such a happy kid. 

When I was so happy to go fishing with my grandpa.

How I always wanted to do EVERYTHING my grandpa did.

That one time when Courtney, Julie, and me decided to cut my brat doll's hair and Grammy yelled at us. 

When Courtney, Julie, David and me use to watching Bible Man and Courtney was scared of the Witch Of Lies.

When Courtney, Julie, David and me would play house and Courtney was always the mom, David was always the baby, and Julie and me were the slaves.

When I use to play airplane in Demama's house. 

How Courtney and me would always dress up in Demama's clothes and wear her makeup. 

That one time when there was a father- daughter dance and I was so excited to go with daddy. 

That one time when Courtney and me painted the club house porch pink. 

How I was so excited when it was Aria's weekend to come over. 

How I use to always act like I hated Aria, but I really loved her and was glad she actually spent time with me.  

I miss when my mom made every one of my birthday cakes. 

How every single Thanksgiving daddy would say, "Hey! Did you know Thanksgiving is on a Thursday this year?"

When I use to pick Isaac up every time my parents went out to smoke. 

When I was SO happy that I was getting a new baby brother and I told EVERYBODY I was getting one. 

Honestly, I miss all of the good times I use to have, but really, I'm SO thankful that I got to have as much fun as I did when I was little. At times, I'm remorseful that I never told some people how much they meant to me, like my dad, but when I think about all of these memories, I know that they must of known how much I loved them. 

Here are some pictures:

my mom and me

my grandpa and me

Courtney, Me, Aria

Aria and me at our parent's wedding

Aunt Shannon, Aria, me, Courtney, Aunt Jenny

Aria and me. 

My mom, me, Isaac, daddy

Courtney's party.

Daddy, Isaac, Great Grandma, me, Papa, Grammy

Family!

Me and Isaac

Amanda, Matthew, and Aria

Aria and me at Julie's brats party.

my brothers and me

Matthew and me

The four kids

All the memories and events that happened when I was little made me to be who I am today, and I am SO thankful for that! So, everybody who I ever had a memory with, thank you. Y'all have made my life the best life ever. 

Family picture,

It's Two A.M. Felling Like I Just Lost A Friend...

As many of you know, I am now a sophmore.. But as a freshmen, I faced a huge change.. My first semester, I was attending CCHS. At CCHS, I wasn't doing good at all-- I was failing awfully and I was terribly stressed out, so, without my knowing, my grandfather enrolled me in EHS... 

Those who know me, know that I had never been in a public school.. ever... but I had no choice in the matter. All I could do was face the problem head on. 

Really, the hardest part for me was leaving all of my friends. At CCHS, I knew every single person and I was basically friends with everyone. When I transfered to EHS, I had no friends. That's a very hard thing for me, simply because I'm a social person. I love being around people who love me and I love being a part of them.. but with me at EHS, it seemed; and still seems, that I'm not as much a part of my old friends ( I say that simply becuase I haven't seen half of them in months!) in any way. I was basically watching everything from a distance. Still, to this day, I miss all of my friends. There's not a day that doesn't go by that I don't think about something that Nina and me did, or remember that time when Katherine and me went to Emily's house. 

I never thought I could miss people as much as I miss people now. Its all the simple things I use to take for granted that I miss oh so much! 

I always thought that I would graduate form CCHS.. But obviously, God had different plans in mind.. I constantly remind myself that God is bigger than any problem I will ever face ( hahaha. I just thought of Veggie Tales when Jr. Asparugus sings that ' God is bigger than the boogie man...') and there is a plan and purpose behind EVERY little thing that happens. 

So, what I want to tell y'all today is that you should never take for granted what you have, and when hard changes come about, be strong AND courageous. Trust me, I know how hard it is for changes to take place, but something amazing may come from a change that takes place. 

I love everybody reading this!

~Sarah Hope

That's What You Get When You Let Your Heart Win...

Today is my fourth blog! yayay. Haha. Time to get for REAL. 
I would have wrote this sooner, but I've pretty much been gone all day.. and to be honest, I almost forgot to write this blog. I fell asleep and then Courtney called me-- so, thank you, Courtney for waking me up and reminding me to write this blog! 
Alright, now. I really am gonna get serious right now. Honestly, all day I've been struggling with what to write about today.. But I know what I'm gonna write about.. 
Now, this is a little off topic.. but some events that have occurred today has given me the idea to write about this.. 
My topic is.. Boys. You're probably like "psh, of course Sarah is talking about boys.." 
But the truth is, I wanna tell you my point of views on the whole "boys" situation. So.. here it goes. 
(Just let me tell you that I am in NO way forcing my views upon anybody. I just know that people have different views and I just wanna share mine.. for the heck of it, of course, and also so that people will know where I stand with it.) 
Personally, I'm not fond of the whole "dating" while in high school thing... I mean, once you're a senior, I think its a little more acceptable to "date," simply because dating is for find who you are going to be married to for the rest of your life. When you are younger, you don't always know what's best for your life.. I think that it is perfectly acceptable to be friends with a guy... And most times, further relationships sprout out of having a strong friendship with a guy. 
A lot of times, relationships in high school lead to heartbreak.. Personally, I don't understand why people would want to set themselves up for heartbreak.. Because that's what all these five minute relationships lead to... 
And really, most high school relationships only last like five seconds until one person decides they want to like someone else.. Really, having a five minute relationship can ruin your whole friendship with a person. Why would someone want to do that? If you have such an amazing friendship with someone, why would anybody want to ruin that? 
I will admit, I've had a boyfriend, but I've come to the realization that I don't want to have a boyfriend right now and I don't need one. My opinions and thoughts may change on this subject, but for now--they are staying the same. 
Oh! I just thought of something else to add.. Most times, when a girl does date mutliple guys, it may mean that  they have a low self-esteem and they need to find their worth in guys and they need to constantly have someone to love them. Sadly, this  is the way most girls are.. they constantly want someone to be there for them and to constantly love them.. but one thing some girls need to realize is that you can't love someone else and someone else can't love you until you have a relationship with God.. God is love and you will never be able to know what love is until you experience God. 
Now, I am off for the night and I'm done blabbing about my opinions on things. 
Night! 
~Sarah Hope

... Remember, Redemptions Hill Where Your Blood Was Spilled For My Ransom

 Oh my goodness...

Its 10:41 pm right now.. I was planning on writing this blog earlier today, but I never got around to it.. But hey! Its still Friday, so I'm safe. Haha. 

Today has been a crazy day... I'm gonna skip all of the boring parts and skip to the good part.. Today, my youth group was camping up at Red Top and I really didn't want to stay the night in a tent, so I rode down there with them and then Mrs. Melody and I left at 10 o'clock to come back down here. Tomorrow, I'm gonna go back up there and hang out with them all day.. 

But anyways, let's get to what I'm blogging about... While in the car on the way here, Mrs. Melody and I had a deep conversation, that I am glad we had. 

Basically, Mrs. Melody and I talked about how people make mistakes EVERY DAY but God has a plan in that. 

I know, this is a subject that is talked about everyday, but you know what? Its an important one. 

When people make the mistakes they do, most people never think they will end up in the place that they do end up. 

God knows every detail in your life; he knows where you will start out at and he knows where you'll end up at. 

It is truly amazing to know that God knows every aspect of your life and that he is always there for us! Seriously, it just amazes me to no end to know that someone cares for me that much! 

Anyways, 

off to bed I go because I have to wake up at 6:45. 

Ciao

~Sarah Hope

My heart, it beats, beats for only you.

Today is DAY TWO of my little experiment.
I've decided that for all 365 days, I'm going to have a song title as my title of my blog and they title will have something to do with this blog.
So, this is the topic of today... "My heart, it beats, beats for only you."
Now, to be honest, if someone titled something that, I would for sure think they were talking about a boy.
But really, thats NOT what I'm talking about.
I'm referring to my Lord and Savior, Jesus.
I'm gonna be straight with you right now. Most the time, I don't honor the Lord in the way he should be honored. The Lord is a being that should be given all the respect in the world from everybody. God created each and everyone of us and He DESERVES all the glory and power. But sadly, the world has slowly began to take away  his power, per say. Now, when I say that, I DEFINITELY do not mean that God has no power, I mean that people act as IF God has no power. Why they think that, I am unaware.. But people do think that.
A lot of times, people put themselves above God and other things... Such as work, school, their cellphones, the computer, facebook, etc...
Since I'm being completely honest with y'all, I'll tell y'all this.. My cellphone and facebook are two huge things that get in the way of me and my relationship with God. I will admit, I let those things get in between God and me and I try not to, but a lot of times, those things seem more entertaining that God.
In today's society, people are ALL about being entertained and having things shown to them directly. I believe that one reason people don't have an interest in God is because God isn't "entertaining" enough to them, or God doesn't give them a response in five seconds like they want Him too.
One thing people need to learn; including myself, is that God does things on HIS time.. Not our time. That's one think I struggle with, and I know other people do, in fact struggle with it too.. Even if they don't wanna admit it.
But anyways, I'm gonna go..
I love whoever is reading this.
Ciao
~Sarah Hope

Getting Started.. Here goes nothin'.

Its completely official in the world of Sarah... 
I've made a goal for my self.. This goal is.. *drum roll please* For an entire year; yes! an entire year, I have committed my self to writing a blog.
This goal may seem extremely silly to you.. it may even seem like a waste of time, but I have committed myself to this simply to prove something to myself. I know, the question running through your head is probably something to this effect: "how in the world is writing a blog going to help you prove something to yourself?!" 
Well, before I say anymore, let me answer this question...
You seeee... I constantly tell myself that I'm going to do things and miraculously, the NEVER get done.. Why is that? Oh wait, because I'm lazy! So, I have told myself that if I do, in fact, take five to ten minutes our of my day to write something for 365 days, I can then accomplish bigger goals. 
By doing something as simple as writing for 365 days, I can prove to myself that if I do tell myself I'm going to do something, I can finish it. 
I've also decided that I don't even care if nobody reads this.. Why? Because I'm; like I said earlier, doing this for me, myself, and I. This is a "project," per say, just for myself. 
Now. 
I'm off! 
So. 
Sianara! 
~Sarah Hope