BLAH.

I never blog anymore? What the heck is up with thattttt?
Anyways, I guess I'll start blogging again!
Yay! Actually, I don't know if that's a "yay." Honestly, nobody reads thissss.
Anyways,
I have something to say.
So much has changed... More than "so much." A lot of things have changed since the last time I wrote a blog and I hate it!
I know its wrong to hate things, but what I guess I mean to say is that I am displeased with the changes that have take place.
The last time I blogged, things were in the process of changing, but it was not until things really started to changed did I actually begin to notice the changes.
At this point in time, I don't feel quite comfortable expressing the changes that have occurred, but what I will say is that people are the main change.
Not multiple people, but two that I can think of.
I lost two of my best friends and honestly, it hurts.
A lot of times I think it was because of something I may have said, or even did, but I don't know how true that is.  The thought that something may be wrong with me still occurs in my head. Okay, let's  be honest, I think of it all the time. I mean, you would think the same thing, wouldn't you? Its like this: One day you have these two people (maybe more.. depending on who you are.) and then suddenly one day they decided they would rather talk to somebody other than you, or they would rather spend time with other people.
Hrmmm... Let me give you another example... There was this person I trusted my life with. We hung out all the time... We were best friends and then SUDDENLY that person decided, "HEY! I'm going to go hang out with these people randomly today..." and just like that, I lost my best friend.
ANOTHER example. I had this friend, I don't know if I would call them 'my best friend,' but we were pretty dang close, and we use to talk on the phone ever five seconds of every dang hour, and then one day, the calls became less and less, until... BAM. The calls stopped, the texts stopped, everything just plain stopped.
 I seriously cried so many times over both of these people. But honestly, my tears did nothing. I've tried talking to both of these people about it, and quite obviously, these people don't feel the same about the situation that I feel.
I know I shouldn't feel this way, or care this much, but I do. I just can't help myself. I don't know if there's a specific reason behind my.. my... I don't know what to call it?!
ANYWAYS.
I'm gonna go sing... and play the guitar. (said like... geeeeee-tar. )

I'm pretty sure I'm in love with the idea of blogging? Is that even possible? WHO CARES. 

Anyways. Seriously, this is what's up.. 

I passed a Biology test today AND I passed a Math quiz? Uhm.. Yea.. For. Real. 

Haha. Today has been great.. Although I'm still sick.. This has been going on for THREE weeks.. ( : 

Its SUPER fun. ha. 

Uhm. So.. I'm gonna go? 

'Cause I'm sick. SO. Uh, 

Buhye. 

~Sarah Hope

I wanna yearn for you..

What I have to say today isn't very much... But it has a lot of meaning.. To me, at least. 
Today at church, Anna and Zac played a song while we listened to the words and basically meditated on the meaning of them and how we can apply it to our lives. 
Now, I want you to know that when I listened to these words, I wept. The words are SO powerful and SO true, 
So today, I'm going to leave you with the words and really just read over them and acknowledge the meaning of them... 

                                             Holy design

                                         This place in time

                            That I might seek your face, my God

                                               My God

                                Lord I want to yearn for You

                                I want to burn with passion

                                  Over You, and only You

                                Lord I want to yearn for You

                                I want to burn with passion

                                   Over You, and only You

                                    Lord I want to yearn

                                     Your joy is mine

                                    Yet why am i fine

                          With all my singing and bringing grain

                                       In light of Him

                              Oh You give life and breath

                               In You we live and move

                                  That's why I sing

~Sarah Hope  

Today, I actually have something to write! 
Okay, so, I'm reading this book by this amazing Christian man called "Crazy Love." 
I've actually mentioned the book once in a blog a while back. 
But anyways, today, the part of the book I was reading about was talking about lukewarm Christians. 
Basically, the book was describing how being a lukewarm Christian is not and option. 
As I'm sure you know, you are either for God or against God. There is really no option in between. 
The Author, Francis Chan, was talking about how people always come up to him and ask "Can I be a Christian if I commit suicide?" "Can I be a Christian if I do drugs?" Do you know what those questions show? 
They show that people still want to live a sinful life and not devote their WHOLE lives to God.
As you know, there is a verse in the Bible that talks about daily taking up your cross to follow God. 
How can you be taking up your cross daily if you're too concerned with worldly things? 
In Revelations 3:15-17, the Bible says

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked...

Now, take note when it says that God will spit us out of his mouth.. If you didn't know, this is the ONE AND ONLY time the word spit is EVER used in the whole New Testament. 
That's seriously a HUGE thing. 
There is seriously no possible way to be a "lukewarm Christian." 
As I'm sure you've heard many times before, "If you're not walking with God, you are walking with the devil." 
Really, when you being a lukewarm Christian, you are saying "sure, there's a God, I just don't want to submit to Him." 
I hate to say this, but that is exactly what the demons and EVEN the devil say.. 
They know there is a God... They just don't walk with Him. 
So, remember this.. 
But also remember that nobody's perfect, (ha. Hannah Montana song...) and everybody make's mistakes. 
~Sarah Hope

Wowo. Today was.. A Monday for sure. Haha 
Let's seeee. I'm still sick. YAYA. NOT. 
I went to the doctor today, they gave me medicine.. 
When we went to go get it from the pharmacy, they said they wouldn't have it ready until the 25th of October. 
HA HA HA. 
Thats not ever close to being funny. I've been sick for three weeks, yes, three, and my pharmacy won't give me my medicine. Fun. 
Anyways, 
Our basement is flooding. How fun. 
So, my grandpa turned the water off, butttt he turns it on when we really need it.. 
Uhm. Let's see.. Oh, while I was showering, my grandpa turned the water off.. Not cooool. 
I promise, when I feel better and have more time, I'll for sure actually blog. 
I had something I was going to write about and then today got busy. So, I'll push it off until tomorrow.. 
Anywho,
I'm off to my bedddd. 
Peace!
~Sarah Hope

Uhm. Okay.
SO! I'm watching "Sister Wives." 
Uhm.. How disgusting! 
Why in the world would someone EVER marry more than one person. 
I find it SO disgusting. Like, I just can't explain how gross that is..
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person who finds this disgusting.. Or I hope I'm not. 
Have any of y'all ever seen that show? 
This is actually my first time ever watching it and I'm already so grossed out by it. 
But anyways, 
I'm still totally sick.. I'm most likely going to the doctor again tomorrow. 
I would rather not go, but hopefully it'll make me better? 
Psh, I doubt it.. But it may be better. 
But anyways, I'm gonna go. 
So. Adios!
~Sarah Hope. 
PS: I say "so" a lot... 

Oh, don't you just lovveee my pointless blogs? 
'Cause I sure do! 
Ha. NOT. 
Seriously, between my writers block and my being sick, I can never think of anything to say! 
So, I think I'll just tell you about my day yesterday and today? 
Let's see.. 
Yesterday was my mom's birthday and my baby brother's birthday! 
He turned 6 yesterday, soo we had a birthday party for me! I saw my sister who I hadn't seen in 9 months yesterday.. That was actually the best part of the day.. 
But.. I was sooo sick yesterday. So that was kinda not fun. 
And today, I was suppose to go do some family thing but I didn't because 
I was sick. I also didn't get to go to the corn maze : / 
BUT hopefully I'll feel better soon!!
~Sarah Hope

Guys, I'm sorry to say this.. buttt my blog is pathetic! 
I'm SO sick right now and I actually neeeed y'all to pray for me.
I don't even know how to explain what's wrong with me right now
BUT please just know I'm not feeling greattt! 
SO. 
Night. 
~Sarah Hope

I'm so sorry..

Well, guys.. 
I'm SO sorry to say this, but this is yet another pathetic blog. 
Due to the fact that I have a project to finish, I will not be able to write a blog. 
BUT on the bright side, I went to a soccer game today ( ; 
Tomorrow will be better!
~Sarah Hope

Dont submit to stupid rules Be yourself and not a fool. Dont accept average habits Open your heart and push the limits.

Ohmygoodnesss! Guess who's still sick! ME! Erhg. I didn't go to school today, but I'm for sure going tomorrow! 
AND AND AND AND AND! I'm going to Cherokee for a soccer game ( : I'm super excited. Hopefully a ton of people will be there ( : 
BUT.. 
Let's get on track, shall we? I think we should. 
Okay. So.. I watched The Last Song today for the first time. 
It was good and all.. but.. Uhmm. Question! 
How many lives turn out THAT super perfect? Uh, last time I checked, not a one! 
So, here's a little note to Hollywood.. 
   Dear Hollywood, 
Y'all need to start making movies that inspire little girls.. Not movies that show a false face. 
By making the love stories y'all are, y'all are showing girls all over the world that everything
always ends like a fairy tail! Well, NEWS FLASH, Hollywood, life is NOT like that. 
Y'all of all people should know that. 
Sincerely, 
Sarah! 

Urghhh. 
Seriously, movie stars most definitly DO NOT have perfect lives, so why would Hollywood put up a false front for girls? 
It makes me feel awful becuase people are being lied to. 
Sure,  
in this movie, the kid's parents were divorced.. But heck, in the end, the girl basically got everything she wanted with ONE little detail messed up.. 
Movies aren't the only thing that shows people a false front. 
Modeling does too. 
Well, basically all of Hollywood does.. 
Girls are always looking up to all the famous women and those women are not role models. 
When a little girl looks up to a famous women, all she sees is plastic.. Those women aren't real. . But little girls don't know that. They think that's how women are suppose to look.. All perfect and stuff. That's so saddening. 
This is something that is always said, but I'm going to say it again. 
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 
Do you know how true that statement is? 
I absolutely despise how people say to beautiful you have to be skinny, your hair has to be a certain way, and you have to wear these specific clothes! 
Oh my goodness. All that is FALSE! 
I know SO many girls who don't follow what the world says and they are so unbelievably gorgeous! 
That's real beauty. 
I wish girls could look up to people who are REAL for role models. 
This world would be a whole other place. 
Oh. I wish what I said could change things, but it can't. 
So. All I can do for now is sleep! 
Peace Outtt! ( ; 
~Sarah Hope

Well, I hate to say this, but I'm still sick.. Which is absolutely ridiculous. I've been sick since last Monday.. My doctor told me that  if my throat still hurts in a couple days to go back and see her.. I'm not super excited about that, but whatever will make me better! 
I'm not particularly sure what to blog about, but I'm sure I'll think of something.. 
Actually, I take that back! I know what  to write about. 
I'm gonna write about perspectives. 
Everybody has a perspective on something-- well, everything really. 
Two people may have certain perspectives on things and they might not be the same perspective, but they could both be right! 
I know its confusing, but its true.. 
Soo.. 
Thats all I really have to say. 
My blogs have been pretty much pathetic the last few days.. So, I'm sorry.. 
But have mercy on me, because I'm sick! 
Hahaha. 
Bye y'all! 
~Sarah Hope 

Remember Me...

I don't know about you, but I hate being sick.. 
I had to go to the doctor today and they checked me for strep and then I had to get my blood drawn for testing to make sure I don't have thyroid problems. 
To be perfectly honest, it hurt worse getting my throat swabbed then getting my blood drawn.. 
But anyways. 
I do have something to blog about today! 
Its a bit random, but it makes me wonder.. 
I guess I shouldn't say wonder, I should probably say wish. 
.. Basically, what I've been thinking about is if I was to die right now, what people would remember me by. I haven't done anything wonderful to be remembered by, but I have a while to live, I hope. 
By the time I die, I want to make a mark on this society. I want to be remembered for doing something amazing, or being an amazing person. 
I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world to have this train of thought, but I don't know many people who actually say this.. 
But. Its the truth. 
I want to be remembered. 
~Sarah Hope

Do you hear me? I'm talking to you. Across the water, across the deep blue ocean..

Heather Renee McCelland (hahhaa! McCllendan ( ; ) 

When this name is said, so many words come to mind: 

Funny, beautiful, crazy.. 

Oh, there are so many words to describe Heather. But to be honest, there is only ONE thing to describe her.. that word is.. Heather. 

If you know Heather, then you know how she is.. She's loud, she's fun, she is always singing or playing her guitar, and most importantly, she always has an open mind about learning. 

Now, of course, Heather hasn't always been that way..

To be perfectly honest with y'all, Heather has matured so much in the last year that you can't even recognize her..

Okay, I lied. You can recongize her.. But whatever. 

Bascially, what I meant was that Heather has matured in the Lord so much! 

Like she has said 9834982103421 times, she use to go to church and not listen, but now she pays attention and she has a spirit that yearns for the Lord. 

Heather, I just want you to know how wonderfully beautiful you are and how amazed I am by you. 

No matter what's going on, you always have a smile on your face that lights up the whole room. 

You are so much fun to be around and I love every second I'm with you. There's NEVER a dull moment with you ( ;

Also, I want you to know that you are amazing at moshing AND I love making sandwiches with you.
But, uhhh.. Just so the WORLD can know how amazing you are... 

Our time is running out...

Seriously, guys, I don't have much time to write today.  
Today is homecoming, and I have SO much to do. 
I'm seriously SO sorry.. I'll write something good tomorrow, promise. 
PINKY PROMISE. 
Sorrrryyy!
~Sarah Hope

Nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing to say..

Well.. The title says it ALL. 
I have nothing to say! 
Why? Because I seriously feel awful and  I was laying in bed when I remembered that I didn't write a blog. 
SO! I am now writing pointless things to makeup for the fact that I don't have anything to say. 
Uhm. 
I just wanna let y'all know that EVERY title to my blogs is a title of a song ( : 
Seriously. That's pretty awesome I think. 
Uhm.. Homecoming is tomorrow.. I'm wearing a dress.. And heels.. And jewelry.. And yea. 
Seriously, my throat hurts SO bad and the fact that I'm having hiccups REALLY hurts it.. 
Why, I cannot explain.  
I'm not for sure if its normal for hiccups to hurt your throat.. But whatever. 
I'm seriously about to pass out from tiredness, so with that, 
I'm off! 
Night y'all!
~Sarah Hope


PS: Seriously, I'll write a better blog soon!! I PROMISE.. I lied.. 
I.. PINKY PROMISE! 

Latley there's been nothing to say.. Seems like there's nothing to say. Why is there nothing to say?

Seriously, I have NOTHING to say.. 
I woke up at like, 8:30.. (yes, tonight.) I seriously feel awful. 
My throat is killing me.. But whatever. 
I wish I had something to say today, but I don't.. And for that, I apologize. 
I promise you, tomorrow, I'll write something. I just had NO time to think about what to write.. 
I don't know about you, but when I don't feel good, I don't really feel like talking or writing things. Psh, I don't feel like doing anything. 
So, with that, I'm going to go back to bed! 
Haha. 
Sorry, y'all!
~Sarah Hope

And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end the way it all would go ...

Everybody is always talking about how high school is the best time of their life and how that’s the time when they really find out who they are, and whatnot. I don’t agree with that. Well, right at this second, anyways. I guess I kinda have been finding out who I am, but high school isn’t the best time of my life.

When I was at CCS, I was sooo stressed and I was constantly worrying about grades to the point where I wasn’t enjoying anything in my life. I would wake up, go to school, work on home work, go to sleep. Wake up, go to school, work on home work, go to sleep… That was basically my life.

Now that I’m at EHS I don’t find myself worrying about grades, I find myself worrying about meeting people and having friends. Talking to people and making friends has NEVER been a problem in my life, but now its a HUGEEE one. I’ve always been around people I’ve known for along time and I’ve had no reason to be shy. I was always around people I knew… Never having to worry about meeting people.

But now, its the total opposite. I’m surrounded by hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people every single day and I maybe know six people out of all of them. At school, I’m sooo shy. I’m just there because I want to succeed in life, and at EHS I can do that, just without friends. At CCS, I was falling behind, but with friends. I honestly don’t know which one I like better… Passing with no friends OR failling with tons of friends? For now, I just have to think about that. =/

This is a blog I wrote on March 5.. I do have to say that most of this is true.. My life has changed since I've been attending EHS.. But really, I'm not worrying about not making friends.. I'm not really worrying about much.. And I love it.  I have to say, high school is becoming MUCH more enjoyable. So.. This is what I'll say, don't worry about the past or the present OR the future.. Everything WILL work out for the glory of GOD.. You just have to have faith in that. I can pretty much tell you that when I wrote this blog, I WAS worrying; as I'm sure you can see, and worrying is a sin! I was, for sure, not thinking about God's plans, I was only worried about mine. 

With that, I will leave y'all. 

Don't worry, take it from someone who knows!

~Sarah Hope

But if you never try, you'll never know just what you're worth.

You know what, I actually started writing a blog.. But then I decided that I wanted to change the topic about what to write about.. 

What I'm going to write about may not effect everybody reading this, but it effects millions of people in the U.S.A. 

Basically, I'm going to write about suicide, drug and alcohol addiction, and self abuse. 

Before I actually hit on those three subjects, I need to talk about a few things and explain a few things. 

First off, I need to talk about feelings. Everybody has feelings. Weather they want to admit it or not.. Most times, people think 'if I show my feelings, people will think I'm weak.' Let me be the first to say, sharing your feelings does not, in anyway, show a weak person. Being able to share your feelings and openly talk about them show a STRONG person. "Why?" you may ask, well, let me explain.. When you hold your feelings in, its mainly because you're scare of the reactions people may give you.. But when you share your feelings, you need to be bold to do that. Now, don't go around telling the world how you feel, find someone you REALLY trust and talk to them. 

You may be wondering how feelings relate to the subject of suicide, addiction, and self abuse.. Well, here's the part where I get to that! 

Many times, when a person holds their feeling in, they have the feeling that they are alone and there's nobody for them to talk to. When a person feels this way, sometimes they begin to hurt themselves because they feel as if things are their fault; they want to feel physical pain for all the emotional pain they feel..The pain is their escape from reality.. 

Like people say after you do drugs for the first time, you never get that same high, the same feeling.. Well, self abuse is like that.. You never feel the same release of pain you do the first time.. Many times, this leads to people trying drugs... 

Drugs are a very addictive thing.. Like I just said, people never get the same hight they get the first time, so every use after the first is a person trying to find the same high again. 

After many first time uses of different drugs, a person because physically and emotionally drained.. They may run out of drugs and they get a thought to kill themselves, so they act on that. 

Now, I'm not saying that a person goes through self abuse and drugs before the idea of suicide pops up in their head, sometimes thats a person first thought. 

They are emotionally hurting so bad that they think the only way to escape that is by death.. 

Little do they know that them killing themselves hurts everybody around them.. 

I've heard many of times that suicide is selfish, and I would have to be inclined to agree.. Killing yourself is a selfish thing to do. You're SO caught up in yourself and the fact that you think that nobody loves you (or whatever your problem may be,) that you forget, or don't see, how many people around you genuinely care about you. 

Sadly, after you kill yourself, you will never be able to see how you effect other people and how they love you.. 

Not only is suicide selfish, its sad.. Doesn't it just make you sad to know that a person honestly was hurting so bad and they killed themselves? Personally, I think its awfully sad.. 

Here are some facts and statistics about drugs, alcohol, self abuse, suicide, and depression 

"In 2007, suicide was the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24.¹ Of every 100,000 young people in each age group, the following number died by suicide:¹

• Children ages 10 to 14 — 0.9 per 100,000
• Adolescents ages 15 to 19 — 6.9 per 100,000
• Young adults ages 20 to 24 — 12.7 per 100,000
• All illegal drugs combined kill under 20,000 per year, or a small percent of the number killed by alcohol and tobacco. 
• 1,360,000 Drug Prisoners in America 
• 1.7 million Americans are incarcerated in prisons or jails, more per capita than any other nation. 
• Nearly 80% of all prisoners in America are for drug related offenses.
• Ten million people have been arrested for marijuana since 1965.
• Cocaine kills about 2,500 
• Heroin kills about 2,000
• Aspirin kills about 2,000 
• By the time they are high school seniors, 80% have used alcohol and 62% have been drunk.
•  In the United States, roughly 50,000 cases of alcohol poisoning are reported each year, and approximately once every week, someone dies from this preventable condition.
• In 2002, U.S. alcoholism statistics reported that 2.6 million binge drinkers were between the ages of 12 and 17.
• 56% of students in grades 5 through 12 say that alcohol advertising encourages them to drink.
• Alcoholism and alcohol abuse are the third leading cause of the preventable deaths in the United States.
• Three million americans engage in some form of self injury
• 90% of self injurers begin cutting as teenagers.
• The average self injurer begins at age fourteen and continues with increasing severity into her late twenties.
• More than half of self injurers are victims of abuse, and most report emotionally abusive or neglictful childhoods.
• Most people who self injure are not trying to commit suicide, instead using self injury as a coping mechanism.
• Self injury does become an addiction as it helps you feel better for a short period of time.
• Self injury is only a temperory solution. Self injury makes you feel better, but only for a short period of time. The only way to feel better for longer, is to develop coping mechanisms. (some of which are under the heading alternatives)
• Although there are a few exceptions, most people who self harm aren't "crazy". They just have a lot of inner stress that needs to be released and they don't have any other way to release it than hurt themselves. 
• Depressive disorders affect approximately 18.8 million American adults or about 9.5% of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year. This includes major depressive disorder, dysthymic disorder, and bipolar disorder.
• The rate of increase of depression among children is an astounding 23% p.a.
• 54% of people believe depression is a personal weakness.
• 41% of depressed women are too embarrassed to seek help.
• 80% of depressed people are not currently having any treatment.
• 15% of depressed people will commit suicide.
• Depression will be the second largest killer after heart disease by 2020 -- and studies show depression is a contributory factor to fatal coronary disease.
• ALL THESE FACTS ARE FROM THE INTERNET. I DON'T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEM!!

I can feel the pressure, its getting closer now..

I'm exhausted! I promise you, I'm going to bed RIGHT after I write this.. 

Today, I'm glad to say that I actually have something to talk about! 

As many of you know, there are some very important holidays coming up.. and no, I'm for sure not talking about Halloween.. Sure, many of y'all may think its important, but in reality, its not important. Haha. 

The holidays I'm talking about are Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

In today's world, many people have morphed Thanksgiving and Christmas into something they're not suppose to be.. 

When people think of Thanksgiving, they think of food.. But do they think of giving THANKS to God? I'm pretty sure they don't.. 

And when people think of Christmas, they normally think of getting presents.. But let me tell you, I'm sure they don't think of how Jesus was born around that time.. 

Thanksgiving is a holiday dedicated to giving thanks to God and Christmas is a holiday designed to celebrate the birth of Jesus.. 

So, answer me this, why aren't those two holidays like that? 

Oh yea.. because this world wants to do its own thing. 

Really, that irks me (ha. Beth! Notice how I didn't say vexes? ) 

But you know what, I can't do much about it.. 

But anyways, I'm going to beeeed! 

I'm really SO tired. 

So. 

Night!

~Sarah Hope